Embarrassment in a new country |
• Being thrown away into a strange space |
‣ My obtrusive presence |
• Amazing world of new experience |
‣ Alien school environment |
‣ Beneficial school experience of extracurricular activities, after-school classes, student council |
‣ Marvelous cultural experience |
Hard to bear existential pain |
• Arduous barriers to pass through |
‣ Severe gaps in academic level |
‣ Difficulties of communication and approaching |
• Top secret swept under the carpet |
‣ Hidden secrets |
‣ Loneliness of being an outsider |
• Stigma of being a North Korean Defector |
‣ Being bullied |
‣ Bad stigma |
• Confusion of identity and ‘finding oneself’ |
‣ Asking myself, ‘Why did I come here?’ |
‣ Stranger in the mirror |
‣ Searching for forgotten pieces in myself |
Desperate struggles to survive |
• Joining peers with desperation |
‣ Making efforts in appearance |
‣ Hanging out with peers no matter what |
‣ Enthusiastic school life |
‣ Thorough self-management |
• Studying to survive |
‣ Getting equal education or trapped in like a big fish in a little pond |
‣ Proud of accomplishment through desperate efforts |
• Strong prop of friendship |
‣ Warm and strong fence |
‣ Tight tensions that must be endured |
• Another path from the norm |
‣ Giving up due to inaccessible study |
‣ Entering into the wrong ways |
Two-facedness of support inside and outside of school |
• Thankful and hurtful things from school support |
‣ Authentic emotional support and attitude |
‣ Informative and material support |
‣ Injury from careless behavior |
‣ Feigned and ritualistic support |
• Contradiction and protection of support outside of school |
‣ Disconnected support after entering South Korea |
‣ Dangerous exposure and boasting reports |
‣ Warm experience of group home |
Unfinished burden of reality |
• Harsh reality of economic difficulties |
‣ Limitations from financial problems |
‣ Toughness maintaining a living |
• Family relationship different from thoughts |
‣ Appreciating but pretending not to know of the existence |
‣ Awkward and unfamiliar relationship |